THRIVING DURING THE HOLIDAYS – AND BEYOND

The holidays are a lot of things – but they are certainly times that can intensify all that we are feeling and going through.  They can be times of joy and togetherness. They can also be times of pain and loneliness.  Often they are a combination of both. Believing that God wants us to thrive and not just survive (John 10:10), here are a few tips to consider with Scripture for your healing and insight:

1. Be honest - It’s OK not to feel OK. It really is! In fact, it’s important to be honest about our emotions - with God and with others.  Going through difficult times is both painful and disrupting. So feeling as you do is understandable.  At the same time, it’s important to not allow our feelings to completely consume us.  (Psalm 73:26)

 

1. Draw close to Jesus - He is a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Pour out your heart to Him (Psalm 62:8). Let Him comfort and walk with you. He knows.  He cares.  He is your companion. (Psalm 31:7; Psalm 34:18; Isaiah 63:9; 1 Peter 5:7; Hebrews 13:5).

 

1. Express yourself through a grief journal - This will help you avoid taking out your negative feelings on others.  Using a grief journal will give you insight into your journey during the holidays and beyond.  (Job 19:23)

 

1. Talk with others - Talk with other bereaved people, or with friends and family members who’ve experienced losses to find out how they get through these special days.  (Proverbs 24:6; Proverbs 17:17; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

 

1. Stay close to supportive people - Don’t isolate, but hang around with people who know you, love you, understand you, and support you. Together, engage in healthy activities.  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

 

1. Don’t numb your feelings - Numbing emotional distress with chemicals creates more depression and increased problems later on.  Make sure your coping mechanism is not illegal, immoral, or harmful for you or others.  (Isaiah 55:2; 2 Timothy 2:22)

 

1. Do something for others - The best way to stop thinking about yourself is to think about others. It’s amazing what happens to us when we go outside our four walls to love and serve others. (Proverbs 11:17, 25).  

 

1. Know your limitations - Don’t overextend yourself. Don’t promise more than you can do. Leave yourself some healthy spaces of rest and relaxation.  Have an exit strategy when you attend holiday events.  (Matthew 14:13a;Mark 6:31)

 

1. Plan Ahead. Decide beforehand what you can do and schedule things accordingly. Remember, an invitation is not an obligation. Take time to decide what is best and healthiest for you right now. (Luke 14:28; Proverbs 16:9)

 

1. Begin some new traditions - Choose to keep those holiday traditions that are meaningful and enjoyable. Give yourself permission to discard those that are painful or at least put them on hold until a future time. Try new traditions that usher in new meaning and reflect new beginnings.  (Isaiah 43:19)

 

1. Give yourself permission to feel some joy – Don’t feel guilty about experiencing some joy – even in the midst of your sadness.  It is not disrespectful to the loved one you lost.  Grief and joy can go hand and hand.   (1 Peter 1:6-9)

 

1. Look for small moments of joy - We tend to find what we look for. So chose to notice or even create moments that are enjoyable and meaningful to you – special Church service, movie, food. (Romans 15:13)

 

1. Establish healthy, realistic expectations - Refuse to compare yourself or your situation with others or the past.  Since all relationships have their challenges, make a deliberate choice to see the holidays as a time to draw close to loved ones – and not as a time to fix anything. Focus on your relational bonds and not on family problems.  (James 1:19; Proverbs 17:27)

 

1. Develop an attitude of thankfulness - Rather than simply focusing on what’s missing or what’s different, why not choose to notice and highlight the many special and positive blessings that you enjoy? As you do, you’ll discover your feelings begin to change as they try to keep up.  (Psalm 107:1; Psalm 103:1,2)

 

1. Get up and move - Take care of your physical well-being. Healthy foods will give you strength and energy; fattening and sugar-filled foods can worsen your depression.  Try to get some exercise which will produce natural stress relievers.  (Isaiah 60:1, I Corinthians 10:31)

 

1. Get some sunlight and fresh air - Winter can take its toll on your emotions by the loss of sunlight you experience.  But being in nature can help compensate for the limited sunlight. God gave us the healing blessing of nature.  Continually expose yourself to that gift that He has given you.  (Ecclesiastes 11:7)

 
 
As difficult as it may be, the holiday season only lasts a short while.  And with Christ with us, our Emmanuel, we will not only thrive during the holidays – but beyond as well (Philippians 4:13).